Dr. Brian Richardson Cool days, barbecues, corn hole, coolers and hanging out watching football are integral to a great tailgate party this time of year. I’m not sure there is a better bond created and strengthened amongst men than during football season. Guys love to gather together and reminisce of times of old, talk trash about their teams,and relive their glory days when they were younger, stronger and more vibrant. Wives and girlfriends are always welcome, but these afternoons and evenings are all about being bros!
The Wall Street Journal recently reported on a new trend that is growing amongstus guys throughout the country. Imagine yourself lounging with your best buddies, perhaps enjoying a nice adult beverage, watching some sports on the TV, all while your urologist goes from room to room and gives you the ol’ snip snip! What a great idea! Hang out with your bros and get your vasectomy! The term “brosectomy” has now been born! You may not want to throw corn hole or stand too long near the grill, but you could always get extra bags of frozen peas and toss them into the hole once you have finished icing your jewels.
At some point in your life, you may come to the decision that you no longer wish to have children. Certainly, there are many options to achieve the goal of contraception or sterility. Many families must make the decision should the man or the woman undertake steps to achieve sterility? I have many friends who negotiate and bargain as to which of them should take that step. I’m sure a nice pair of Christian Louboutins have been purchased or maybe a Louis Vuitton purse showed up out of nowhere with a note proclaiming you do it! Some guys will spend a lot of dollars to keep the doctor away from their precious family heirlooms.
When I was a urology resident in New Orleans, my roommate and I loved to watch Family Guy on TV.I’ll never forget the episode when Peter learned about the vasectomy by having a group of barber shop singers pop in the room to explain the procedure. Contrary to their catchy and informative song, you will not become half the man you are now.
I often integrate humor during the course of performing a vasectomy in my office.Occasionally, I will ask my patients, “where would you like me to put your testicles when I am done?” I cannot tell you how many guys have spontaneously responded, “my wife keeps them in her purse!” Fortunately, your testicles will continue to reside both literally and figuratively in whatever location they inhabited prior to the vasectomy procedure.
The procedure itself is quite simple. Over 95% of vasectomies are performed in the office under local anesthesia. The procedure lasts about 10 minutes and really should not be physically painful.The mental pain and anguish can be easily treated with some payback from the wives. I have no problem writing a prescription for guys weekends, favorite meals and of course many nights of loveand devotion! I typically perform these procedures on Fridays and ask my patients to hang out on the couch over the weekend. The ultimate goal of the procedure is similar to some of your favorite fruit drinks, “all juice, no seed!” We do check for seeds at eight weeks after the procedure and require two consecutive checks with no seeds to be considered sterile. By the way, the documented failure rate is one in 2,000. So, I would definitely recommend those followup checks to ensure the mission has been accomplished.
One final thought, probably every urologist has encountered an awkward situation when it comes to sterility after a vasectomy, if they have been practicinglong enough. Keep in mind, if a man has undergone a vasectomy and has no sperm present, it can be very difficult to explain how their partner has become pregnant. I do believe in the Immaculate Conception, but I believe it has only happened once in all of history!
Dr. Brian Richardson is a urologist and chief of robotic and minimally invasive surgery at Jackson Hospital and Clinic.